


The Indian Gift

by Lysynda



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Old Republic
Genre: Betrayal, Blood Loss, Childbirth, Loss, Loss of Innocence, Loss of Trust, Other, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 12:13:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6284074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lysynda/pseuds/Lysynda





	1. Chapter 1

"You'll be staying here, Lysyndaara." The cold, unfamiliar voice leads her into a small room, quite different from her quarters at the Academy. She shivered as she stepped inside, quite unsure she made the wrong decision... would she have had a choice anyway? She shudders as the heavy door is slammed behind her, locking her into the sterile room.

As soon as it's locked, she frantically pulls on the handle, trying to turn it and open the door. Her efforts are futile. "This is fine... the Order wouldn't put me in danger..." She talks to herself, trying to convince herself of her safety. She tries to tame her wild curly hair by pulling it behind her as she talks to herself. A failure at the Jedi Academy, she had no way to defend herself - she didn't imagine should would ever have to. With some meditation, she manages to get some rest, though the the raised metal cot did little to comfort the teen-aged Miraluka.

Synda awoke the next day as she was being wheeled off down the same corridor she walked to get to her prison-like quarters the day before. She was awake, but something was immobilizing her. She couldn't move - like she was frozen inside her own body. The panic set in - she could hear the whispers of the scientists, though she couldn't understand what they were saying. She felt the heat of the lamps above her, she could hear the buzzing of the filaments. The room quieted as the humanoids left, leaving only droids in their stead, to do their dirty work. The room and the droids were completely aseptic - the only living thing in the room was Synda, and the room was completely black to her.

She screamed. At least in her head, she was screaming. Screaming for help, screaming in pain. She could feel it, the scalpel splicing into her abdomen, the warm rush over her flesh as she bled onto the table. Whatever they gave her to lock her in her own mind did little to dull the pain of what they were doing to her. As she loses blood, she begins to fade in and out. She could hear the droids rushing around and one of them inserts a needle in her arm. As the transfusion begins, she senses another life in the room with her. In the shock and torment of her ordeal, she loses consciousness before she ever knows what is happening.

Suddenly on high alert, Synda springs up in her cot. The cold, barren environment flashes back into her senses, and adrenaline courses through her veins. As she jolts upward, she is pulled back, her arms restrained to the metal surface beneath her. "What... it's here!" She panics as she looks around for the life that she saw in her last few moments of consciousness. Then it hits her... quite literally, in fact. She lets out an 'oof' as she feels a foot hit her in the ribs. She inhales deeply, her breath stuttering as she realizes what happened to her in these first few moments she is awake. How long was I asleep...?

It wasn't long until some medical droids came in through the door. As they poke and prod at her during their exam, she lays quietly. They make their exit and a man walks in, the very same who suggested she join the Science Ministry. "I do hope you're enjoying you're time here, Lysyndaara. You're making fine progress on our experiment, in fact. We're so lucky to have you as a volunteer..." The maniacal tone in his voice pierces her ears. She winces as she is kicked again in the ribs. She tries to bring her hands up to her distended belly, unable to quite reach it. The man loosens the restraints, though he does not remove them. She is able to sit up, and feel her body.

"You've been asleep a long time, you know. A lot has happened in the last five months..." She could feel his lips curling up into a wicked smile, but she is too shocked to say a word. "Now, you can finish out the experiment like this, or asleep like you were... it should only take a few more months." She simply nods, hoping that whatever she is agreeing to is the least painful choice.

***

Over the next few months, Synda has a lot of time to spend thinking over what's happened to her. As the life inside of her grows, she develops a relationship with it. Her small but fit frame carries the child well, her youth serving her well during this... experiment. Not allowed off of the metal box she is restrained to and fed only leftover military rations, she passes her time by meditating. By the end, she is near emaciated, having given everything to the unborn child inside her. As the days crept on, Synda worried what would happen to her and the fetus...

***

No... no, no, no, no.... Her abdomen tightens and a jolt of pain travels through her torso. She knows it's time.

She writhes in pain for hours after this, the labor contractions intensifying. Despite the pain, she doesn't make a sound for fear of being heard, not knowing what will happen to them once the child is born. As they near the end, instinct takes over - she sits on her feet in a squat position and holds her hands beneath her, catching the Miraluka infant in her arms below. The room is silent as she falls back on her cot, holding the 7 lb newborn against her chest. Silence, a new mother's worst fear.

Acting once again on instinct, the teenage mother wipes the baby's face clean and uses her finger to wipe away the blockage in the infant's throat. With the quick acting on Synda's part, the baby is breathing, and screaming. Bringing the child to her chest, she begins to nurse and the little one quiets. Sitting back against the wall, Synda is unaware of the danger she is in...

As she comes to again, the nightmare that is her memory of her first day at the facility is once again relived. The buzzing of the surgical lamps, the heat from them on her face, the bleeps and boops of the droids operating on her. The pain of them slicing into her... only this time, there is someone in the room. It's him, the "Jedi" who brought her here, who tormented her thoughts throughout her gestation. "Ah, Good morning, Lysyndaara. Did you think you would get far, keeping this beautiful little girl from us?" His lips once again curl into a smile as he holds up the child. "You almost bled to death, my dear. That would have been such a waste." Synda struggles to reach for her daughter, but she is once again immobilized. Trapped in her mind without the ability to take any action.

The man hands the newborn off to a droid. "Take it out of here - it's no longer useful." He commands as the droid skitters off. The anguish Synda felt, there were no words, nor have there ever been the right words to explain it. Worse than the pain of her present surgery is the sadness and anger she felt as she watched her daughter whisked away from her, never to see her again. "You see, Lysyndaara, while she is quite the healthy little one, your... my experiment didn't work as planned. Consider the child collateral damage. However, I have some wonderful news for you! We can run this experiment without you now... we'll just need to borrow a few things, hm?"

He nods to the droid and with a few quick motions, her internal reproductive organs are made external. As one droid works quickly to stop the bleeding, the other presents a cold metal bowl to the man and Synda. Her uterus is inside, still contracting from the labor, ""Thank you, my dear, for your generous gift to science."

As she spends the following weeks recovering from her ordeal, she thinks over and over and over again on how she could have done things differently. How she could have saved her daughter. The small Miraluka would carry this tragedy with her forever, never sharing the ordeal with anyone until nearly 25 years later before her 40th birthday.


	2. The Gift Returns

Dear Razhalia,

Since you were born, I’ve written a letter to you every week; letters to an unnamed, unknown child. Letters to a child I was made to believe was killed before she saw her second day. I never imagined a single word would be read by you. I never imagined you had a name or a face. Those letters were meant to help me cope with losing you.

Today I learned that none of that is true. You are alive, and thriving… and seeking out your mother. I cannot express the guilt, and love, and excitement, and nervousness that I’m feeling in writing this to you. The guilt that I couldn’t be there for you as you grew, the love that a mother for her child that the ties of neither life nor death can strip away, the excitement that you’re eager to meet me, and the nervousness that I worry you may hate me.

We have so much to discuss, but only if you want to. There is no way, I know, to make up for the time we missed, but maybe we can make the best of the time that is left. It is far more time than I ever imagined I could have with you.

With sincerest love, your mother,  
Synda

Synda looks down upon the letter she penned the old-fashioned way – she always believed there was something very intimate about a letter written this way. She hesitates, not knowing if she should deliver it or tear it up like she did all the others -all 1,794 of them.

Garrace appears in the doorway behind her and comes in to wrap his arms around her waist. He sets his chin on her shoulder, standing behind her. He can sense her uncertainty. “Send it,” he reassures her. “She has been waiting 34 years to read your letters.”

With that, Synda seals her letter and sets it on her desk. “Thank you.”

***

Razh sits alone with the letter penned by her mother. She runs her fingers along the edges, hesitating to open it.

Carefully, she breaks the seal, the sound of the paper unfolding is loud in her almost meditative state, and she reads it carefully. And she reads it again. And again her fingers trace carefully across the ever-so-slightly raised ink on paper as she reads it a third time.

She sits quietly in disbelief. Her whole life, she was raised with the understanding that she was alone, that she was abandoned by an unknown woman and left to die as an infant. Her whole, that same woman was left with the understanding that her infant daughter had been killed. For Razh, this changes everything.

With a different confidence than before, she stands immediately retrieves her holocom. "Mr. Treveleus, I need your help... again." She smiles into the holo as she speaks.

***

Knock, knock, knock.

Synda was already preparing to answer the door before the third knock was finished. She had sent the kids to their rooms with instructions to stay quiet – it was a well-rehearsed drill. Her hand was on the hilt of her lightsaber as her mechanical fingers reach for the door release. After a deep breath, she presses the button and the door slides open.

On the other side of the door was the sense of familiarity. She knew this woman somehow, but… how? Her mind raced into her memories, needing to find its own answers. Synda stands still, not greeting her visitor. Dara tries to urge her to say something.

***

Razh tilts her head as an armed woman answers the door. She bites her lip nervously as she takes in the woman’s presence. She has no memories of her mother, but she knows that is who was on the other side of the threshold. She takes a deep breath and forces a tense smile. “Hello.” She pauses. No response. “I’m Razhalia. Are you…” she pauses, taking out the letter Synda had Malikhai deliver to her. “Synda? Lysyndaara Faelverin? Mr. Treveleus said I could find you here.”

***

Synda’s hand grips around her hilt briefly as the woman begins to speak, but it quickly releases as she realizes how she knows her. A flood of emotion comes over Synda, but her level-headed sister helps her keep cool in the moment. “I am. Please, just Synda.” The older Miraluka remains unmoving, shocked. “I... I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting you…”

***

The two nearly identical women stand face to face on opposite sides of the entryway. Their similarities are striking – small in stature and bright red hair, one a younger version of the other. They stay in this stalemate for what seems like an eternity to both of them, each examining the other.

Before a long, a worried young Togruta sneaks to the door from her quarters. She looks up at Synda. “Mom? Are you ok? Who is this?”

"I... I can leave, if this is a bad time."

Synda shakes her head, waving the woman in through the threshold."No, my dear. We have much to discuss." She smiles at her, finally over the initial shock of their meeting.

Cara looks up at Synda and says, "Mom, she looks just like you!"

Razh finally pays notice to the young teenaged girl and offers a smile.

"Cara, please go get us some caff. And call your father."

***

The two women sit and talk all day. Synda tells Razh of the terrifying circumstances under which she was born, a story that doesn't quite sting so hard telling it to Razh. She tells Razh of how she was powerless for so long, and how Dara came into her life, and eventually, into her head. The love story between she and her husband and how she saved his life, and then how they adopted their children. She tells Razh about her parents, or at least, what she knows, and where they found the unusual earring that she wears. And of course, of her best friend and brother, Qunai, and the odd relationship they've found themselves in considering Dara is a part of her now.

Razh tells her mother about how she was raised - trained to be an assassin by her master since she was old enough to walk. How she was made to believe her whole life that she was abandoned and unwanted, and how she used that anger to fuel her power. She told Synda about the death of her dear master, the man who, despite being a powerful Darth, raised Razh to be a lady, and how, his last words were telling Razh about her mother. And of course, she tells her mother about her most recent adventure to find Synda, and how it's turned into a love affair with the man she hired as her informant, who has also now hired her as an assassin on his team.

They talk as though there hadn't been 34 years separating their lives. Any pain or anger or sadness dissolves between them as they fill one another in on their lives, and finally, Synda has her daughter and Razh has her mother, and the hole that existed in both of their hearts finally begins to close.


End file.
